Opa!!! This last week was like most weeks a bunch of Highs and a few Lows. But what I have really learned is that the Lord is really there to help us. My Companion is 100%, an awesome guy. I would be friends with him if we met in a different setting in about 9 seconds because of the way he is and the way I am. We can be really powerful in the area that we got shipped in to, without a doubt. We just gotta set our minds to do all we can do to fulfill our purpose! .. I am grateful for his patience with me and his kindness that he shows me daily. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father that I am able to serve with him and to learn from him and him from me. And we will baptize! .. We just struggle with a few little things that can be easily resolved. I learned something massive this week that I know the Lord wanted me to learn....
Look at someone for who they can be and not for who they are.
I started off the week with the mind set that I was gonna change everything that he was doing wrong. And that I needed to be the one that puts the companionship on their shoulders, but those thoughts were completely wrong and with certainty SINFUL. I didn't realize this until after a really difficult day. I had read my scriptures all day and cleaned the house and did everything I could to stay busy because my companion didn't feel well ... And I judged him for it. I thought to myself that, "He's really not sick," and "If I was sick I would still go out and work." I had these thoughts all day long as I cleaned and as I tried to read my scriptures and grow spiritually. As I sat there at my desk completely disheartened, letting Satan work and work until I reached a point where I said to myself, "Why am I here?," and, "Do you really think that you are doing any good?" I guess the Lord has trends because in my "...moment of great alarm ... moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction..." I know the Lord sent me a text message. And not exaggerating it "vibrated" my head ha. The thought of what I had read the day before in the scriptures rang in my head as clear and pure as a bell, Alma 5. I have never experienced revelation like I had in that moment in time. I don´t know that I will ever receive revelation that pure and apparent to me again in my life.
Alma 5 is about Alma when he is teaching the Nephites that had become wicked and full of pride. The Prophet reminds them of what the Lord did for them..
Verse 7 reads, "Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word..."
I had forgotten who had given me everything I have. I had forgotten my purpose as a missionary. To invite others to come unto Christ, and I had not realized it before but that means myself as well. I need to come unto Christ. I need to be awoken from my deep sleep. I need to illuminate my soul with the stories and teachings of the scriptures and a modern day prophet. I need to apply the things that I am teaching to myself and look at my companion the way my Heavenly Father sees him. .. Alma goes on to ask the people of Zarahemla questions and I love that he is not teaching people who don't know the gospel but they were faithful members of the church. He asks them this question in verse 14:
"And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?"
And as I sat there at my desk looking at the picture of the Savior on the wall I asked myself the question, Have I experienced a mighty change of Heart? I find that when I ask myself these questions I like to lie to myself ha. But I couldn't lie because I know that Everyone (H.F., J.C., my children, my family) was watching me. It was my moment to decide for myself what I will do.
I can testify to you that in that moment I made a choice. A choice I'm sure will change my future and how I do everything on my mission and the rest of my life. I know that the Lord was close to me and cradled me in a time I needed Him the most. I know that he will do that for anyone and everyone. I love him and a Mighty Change of Heart is all he asks.
I love you all, the mission is a blast and I promise I will write about some funny stuff that happens this next week ha.